Protected or Not?
January 17th, 2012 § 4 Comments
I’ve been going back and forth over whether or not I care if anyone reads my blog or if I want to share my thoughts with certain people. I even wonder if it is bad etiquette to write some things I do with the understanding that some people might read it. These certain people are employers, friends, past lovers and future lovers. It feels really great to openly express myself and my emotions with out any regard to people who might read it. I’ve written about break-ups, my deep thoughts about employers, my addictions and other personal experiences and dreams. Truly, I don’t have any responsibility to them to filter what I say or allow them to read. It’s up to these people if they want to read my blog, not me right?
Well the problem comes when an employer does end up finding my blog. They also have no responsibility to keep the information I share from their decisions that effect me. Same goes for lovers and friends. And is that something I should let hang out? Should I even write a post if it needs to be protected? It IS up to me to filter what I write if I don’t want repercussions.
I changed my password last night because I wrote something I considered should be protected. I don’t mind if she reads it, but I’m worried if she does it will upset her. Why should I be concerned? I felt the need to puke emotional bullshit all over my blog and it felt great. But now I’m left in a worry if I should have even written it in the first place. Maybe I should just get a private journal for this shit? But see, I like to share my thoughts and feelings, that’s one of the main reasons I have this blog. I don’t just want to post up my vanilla happenings and boring life updates.
Once upon a time I wrote a post that helped restore a relationship with my now ex again. I wrote it with so much emotion and disregard to any etiquette that might have been being blindly followed by the two of us in order to disconnect our souls. I even asked an open ended question to illicit her response. I hoped she’d read it. And even now, I hope she reads my blog. I don’t mind admitting that I read hers and love hearing what she’s doing and feeling. Fuck it, I miss her. Also, I wouldn’t be angry if she went all emotional on the keys either. Obviously my feelings of what she does are besides the point, but I’m trying to reverse the situation and see how it stacks.
What would you think of me, or my blog, if I just opened up the floodgates? Do you think its respectful or shitty that I have them protected now. I’d love to hear what you guys think about this. For real, lets discuss in the comments.
i don’t think you’d be shitty for doing either. imo there are inarguable reasons for wanting to do both. both are decisions…one just comes with a little m ore commitment.
Yea, after talking with Nick, I’ve decided that I will be sharing most of it. Pretty much feeling like people who read it are my friends and pretty much know how pathetic I can get sometimes. The work stuff tho, I’ll probably keep hidden.
I really enjoy reading your thoughts on your blog and elsewhere, I think you’re very good at expressing yourself poetically and articulately. You seem to have a management system over your “parts” (the pieces of your psyche that are primitive, emotional, and afraid, the ones that do a horrible job trying to protect you because really, they need you to protect them, usually with boundaries) that seems second nature. I find that what you say and do is almost always loving, honest, and creative. It’s something that I admire and am practicing at getting better at, myself, so that I’m more willing and less afriad to share my own thoughts and emotions with others. I think that is where the difference lies, not in what you saying, but from which part of yourself say it with. If you say something from one of your “parts,” it’s not going to be appropriate, but if you practically the same thing from yourself, as a whole, it will be, because it will be honest, loving, and creative.
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But is was fun imagining Crosley saying all that, lol. Thanks! I genuinely take what you said as such a great compliment. I do try to keep myself to those things and its great to hear that my effort shows through in my writing.